This is the son of a friend of mine. At the age of 1, he's decided he likes me, and has NO trouble climbing into my lap for a cuddle. He even sat still long enough for me to take this picture....I see TROUBLE ahead in that face..lol

I haven't posted in so long, but then again who the hell has had time lately.  I feel like I'm constantly running to catch up with myself and fill everyone's needs, and just be enough...enough for my husband (I'm sure he'd be yelling at me right now if he read this...lol) enough for each individual one of my kids, to make it so that they know what it is in life they need to do, and enough ...to just be happy sometimes.  Every once in a while I stop for two seconds, as I'm hugging Jayden, and I think, "what in the hell made me think I could do this?"...I'm holding an individual human being, with likes, dislikes, needs, and until he's an adult, I'm responsible for ALL of it.  Multiply it by four, and you get overwhelmed.  I try not to let that two second interval enter into my daily existence, or you'll find me in the rubber room of the Royal Ottawa Hospital.  I had this type of experience of feeling like I need to be enough to make it all right for everyone, once before.  I think there's a connection to a husband having post tour issues, and children going through trying times, with my present feelings.  Sometimes I feel like I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about and if they'd just goddamned listen things would work out right.  Then the next moment I go....."who said that???"  Thankfully (I think) I don't let that side out to play very often or we'd REALLY be in a mess.  Women....who can figure em eh?

This post probably hasn't made a whole lot of sense this time around, and honestly...who the hell cares...it's working for me...lol  

For my friends, the only two who ever really see this....thank you for being here when I log in every so often.  Re....I won't bother commenting on your latest post, I'll just say that you don't need to do anything to be...."enough" for me, you're a GREAT girl, and I'm proud to know you, and I hope things get better, and smoother for you very soon!!  I'll be here when they do :)

Freddy...you're just cute, and I'm glad you're there for her, and I also hope you guys get this stupid immigration crap worked out soon!!:)

Meaghan Madison White :)

There's just something about sitting in my living room surrounded by four kids, on a cold crappy March afternoon watching the Lion King.  The funny thing is I'm pretty sure if I had a historical crystal ball to look into, I could see a cold crappy March afternoon just like this one, but two less children, and the same movie.  Matthew was a Lion King FANATIC!  He watched it so much he wore out the VHS tape..lol  We had to buy another one, and then when it came out on DVD we bought it there as well.  I like to keep the classics around, plus movies like Lion King, LIttle Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast etc....they've been much watched to say the least!  It's been a REALLY busy few weeks, and I haven't had time to really think much less post on here..LOL I'm hoping after Easter things will calm down a bit and we can get back to business!  Hope everyone is enjoying spring!